Tusc Al’Oosa– Early Tuesday morning the leadership of the Gulf state of Al’Abama withdrew its bid to host the 2012 Gulf Coast Conference Championships. The announcement comes under mounting pressure from a wave of popular protests demanding the longstanding USAU regime change its policy of not responding to waves of popular protest.

Last night, in response to dissatisfaction with recent impositions, a throng of demonstrators marched across the West Bank to Al’Giers where they descended upon the home of Gulf leader Colonel Rhoddafi. Some protestors carried the signs and banners they stole from last year’s Gulf Coast Conference Championships. Others who were more organized sang songs, including “Commodores, Commodores, Commodores!”

The scene last night outside Colonel Rhoddafi's home. Said a neighbor, "God, it's awful, it just feels like Mardi Gras starts earlier every year."

Initial reports that one protestor, a Starkghanistani national named Erek Al’Len, had committed an act of self-immolation later proved false, though the confusion has since been explained. As one witness put it, “Mr. Al’Len is 6’5″, and with hair that red and that high in the air, it is easy to see how onlookers mistook what they saw for a person engulfed by leaping flames.”

While observers inside USAU are still scrambling to explain how again, exactly, a clap-spike is ever acceptable under any self-respecting rulebook, observers outside the regime have marveled in recent hours at the role social media has played throughout these protests. The decision that Al’Abama would host GC was first made public on the seldom-viewed blogging site WordPress, a move which made many call into question the legitimacy of the decision. Initial outrage was soon channeled into a flurry of angry messages exchanged over G-mail, which forced the regime to take action. A single Twitter update will go out tonight to reconfirm the subsequent date and location change:

Tupelo, Mississippi, will now host the 2012 Gulf Coast Conference Championships on April 14-15.

I would remind you that the comments threads are always open–not just in April–if you ever wanna pass props to anybody you played with or against this weekend. Or talk sh*t. You know that’s my favorite thing to do. I know you are sitting there bored in class, I can see you trolling on the site meter. Come out of the cave.

The forms I turned in to USAU did not reflect the dates on the bid document submitted by Brian Moore on behalf of Tuscaloosa, nor do I believe I told many of you the correct dates when I spoke to you this weekend. I have just reconfirmed the dates with Brian on the phone. Open’s desire to accept the Tuscaloosa bid–which is tied to hotel deals through Windham Suites, a sponsorship agreement with Spin, and cash incentives from the city itself–means that GULF is scheduled for April 21-22, not the 14-15 as originally posted. The Women’s division has also, as of yesterday, officially expressed their desire to accept the Tuscaloosa bid as well.

If there is wailing and gnashing of teeth over this change from the dates we announced yesterday, please address those to my usau(dot)org address. It’s that seemingly random assortment of letters and numbers listed on the widget there to your right.

Said wailing and gnashing of teeth. You know, you figure by now someone would have named an ultimate team after "Hieronymos Bosch".

I will deal with any issues as fairly as possible, however, please keep in mind that USAU does not make distinctions among types of conflicts.

Sorting this out has cut into my free time to write up thoughts following T-Town; I hope you’ll forgive the delay as we get these important logistical issues straight. Meanwhile, do enjoy this: parte número uno of Skyd Magazine’s recap.

SOUTHEAST OPEN REGIONALS, hosted by Atlanta Flying Disc Club
May 5-6, 2012
Georgia Soccer Park
East Point, GA
Tournament Director: Jonathan Monforti

FLORIDA OPEN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS
April 21-22, 2012
Citizens Field, Lincoln Middle School, & UF Rec Sports
Gainesville, FL
Tournament Director: Jim Martinez

GULF COAST OPEN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS
April 14-15, 2012
James L. Ballard Park and Sportsplex
Tupelo, Mississippi
Tournament Director: John Rhodes Martin

SOUTHERN APPALACHIAN OPEN CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS
April 14-15, 2012
UGA Club Sports Complex & Sandy Creek Park
Athens, GA
Tournament Director: TBA
Local Contact: Caleb Edwards

Most current players don’t remember, as my age group does, a time when Tulane was a relevant opponent. This year they are in a position to make a comeback. They have four good college ultimate players, and the necessary athlete or two. That combination, in Gulf Coast, would be enough.

The Good
Drew Galigher is arguably the most important spoke in their offense; without him, the wheels tend to fall off. He makes possesion-saving cuts and throws. Brandon Xureb, as his name perfectly implies, is the X-factor and Tulane’s most consistent big playmaker. He’s also the heartbeat of the team, and his energy dictates their pace. His size is his disadvantage; however, non-familiar teams will probably underestimate him over the first few points of a game. Whether or not his early big Ds can translate to late success in games will depend on to what extent his teammates rally around him. Greg Cousins is just a sophomore and has a rarity for Gulf Coast–competitive high school experience. Remember that. He is quick, can get up, and his throws are improving (more on that later). Patrick I-don’t-know-his-last-name has the lanky build of your prototypical ultimate player and a practice drive uncharactristic of your typical frisbee player. With captain Jon Schlosberg still recovering from a serious knee injury, the performance of these four players will primarily determine Tulane’s success.

The Bad
The drop-off from here is steep, though not insurmountable. Tulane could run a tight line and still be successful, but they still have time. Defense against a clean offense will be a challenge due to lack of size. On the sideline there are a handful of young athletes who haven’t developed the awareness or disc skills (yet) to make a maximal impact. Not their fault, entirely, and some of them are improving weekly (Andy comes to mind). I’m gonna put my neck out there: too many of the older guys on the team are far too comfortable with their roles, which is ironic because not many of them contribute much of meaning. It’s my opinion that they are just dialing it in to the detriment of Aftershock’s competitiveness. Jon has a tough dilemma. In tight games does he sub to “experience” or to “potential”?

The Ugly
Tyler Conger, with Robert Runner and Greg Ericksen, led UVA to quarters at Columbus before falling to Stephen Presley and Texas. Conger then played with Chase S-B’s Axis of C’ville and significantly contributed to their Summer trip to Prague. Since then, he has helped Nicky Spiva lead Tanasi to back-to-back appearances at Sarasota. He is also, of all things, a really, really nice guy. And he now lives in New Orleans. And he now shows up twice a week to Tulane practices. Greg Cousins is the only one I have seen take Conger up on the offer to put in extra time–and to the benefit of his backhand. Not only has it gained distance, but control and placement. I can’t for the life of me figure out why they haven’t asked Conger to lead more practices. He may as well not be there. So my previous post was one of only slightly disguised incredulity. Because I think this team does deserve its current ranking and should continue to improve (and because Lee called me out), I’m gonna call Tulane out–let Conger be more involved in your learning now and be in the running when you wake up on April 15th.

Remember, transporting illegal substances across state lines is a federal offense. (For Baskin Jones, Madison Central’s chaperone, this may mean minors.) By the way…

If at some point during the weekend you don’t send someone from your team to go talk to these guys–I don’t care if it’s a rookie or whatever–then I’ma ban you from Sectionals for life. Let them know how badass it is they’re playing. One of the main reasons GC lags behind other conferences is a lack of feeder high schools. It’s still in its infancy, but Baskin has been working diligently to get more high schools in the Jackson metro area interested in the sport, and in the long-run that can only benefit GC. Witness: Alabama has rookies that could throw forehands from day one. I still can’t throw a forehand.

Get bored in the car? Check this out. Some real journalism on the weekend. This also may be a first–I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone outside of Gulf Coast mention Gulf Coast. However charitable the shout-outs, hey, at least they happened.

And of course, follow the one Twitter feed not neglected in the bottom of someone’s Ultimate Bucket:
@bamasecs, ftw

The State of Our Union
Let’s see if we can’t stir up more shit than President Obama.

Gulf Coast teams, ranked according to their T-Town seedings:

1. Vanderbilt
2. Tulane
3. Alabama
4. Ball State*
5. Mississppi State
6. Auburn
7. Ole Miss
8. MTSU
9. Auburn-B
10. Mississippi State-B
11. Rhodes

Many of you have been asking about when we’ll make the Sectionals announcement. Surprise! This is it! With virtually every Gulf Coast team competing, this first major tournament of the Spring will also be the last. I see no need to carry this out longer than necessary. Everything gets decided this weekend. Ball State will serve as surrogate for LSU.

The Year of the Dragon
Actually, Ball State is in the blog conversation this week for a legitimate reason. Will Drumright–the fourth best player for Alabama last year (and the 8th man All-Conference)–is bringing the good times back home from Funcie. I love Brian Moore for seeding Pool B this way. Since Alabama and Ball State are practically playing for second place behind tOSU, this is the game I would totally go watch if I were the kind of person who wakes up before 9 A.M.

Prediction: If the wind blows and the sky turns black, Ball State will win this game. Chirp, chirp!

I also really like that Pool D sets up a rematch game for Vandy. Cincy can’t be too happy about it, but who cares? Amir Aschner felt like Cincy stole this one from them in the fall. This is one of two pools where GC could produce a winner, and it will come down to this game. Field 10, 3:30.

Class Participation!
First, match each of the following “Bold Predictions” with the respective team that proclaimed it. Then, rank each “Bold Prediction” in order from “most likely” to “you’re effing hammered”.

• “We will win our pool.”
• “We will finish Top 4 on Sunday.”
• “We won’t be there. Regardless, first games on Saturday and Sunday will be played, and won, still _____ed from the night before.”

Your team choices:

• Auburn
• LSU
• Mississipp State

Too Lame
So… um… you ever have weird fantasies? You know what I mean. Like, say, you’re sitting in class daydreaming about frisbee, right, and you’re thinking about tonight’s practice, and you’re all like, damn, wouldn’t it be awesome if–well, okay, total “Field of Dreams” moment, here–but wouldn’t it be awesome if out of the woods or parking lot some former World Champion would just, like, randomly show up? Just, like, I dunno, it’s stupid, but what if he materialized just to teach us how to play. What if he started coming out for no other reason than to make us a better team and teach us how to win? Wouldn’t that be awesome? But that’s a dumb idea. That would never happen to anyone. And if it did we’d probably just be like, meh, whatever.

Slo Your Roll, Bros
Remember the first time you ever played with a Frisbee? No, I don’t mean the first time you played ultimate in college. I mean the first time you ever played with a Frisbee. Now imagine that moment, instead of happening at a church picnic, happened at T-Town Throwdown.

In a family room somewhere in Madison suburbia, a group of high school guys are playing video games are ripping off Samuel L. Jackson-inspired monologues to pump themselves up for the weekend. Only they don’t realize this isn’t fiction, or even Pulp Fiction. They’re in deep.

Seriously, take it easy on these guys.

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